We’re taught that to be self-actualized adults we need to be independent, self sufficient, and good at being alone.
When I was engaged to be married, people warned me that I should get good a managing my life alone before taking on the responsibility of managing it with someone else.
With the growing popularity of mindfulness, people of all ages are finally learning to be alone with their thoughts. This is undoubtedly a good thing.
But humans aren’t meant to be alone.
Sure, some people are introverts. Some people need more alone time than others. But that doesn’t mean they aspire to be alone.
”Humans are meant to be alone” – Said no one ever.
If you have lots of friends and a strong community, learning to be alone might make you a more well rounded individual. It could be healthy.
But if you have no friends, if you’re truly lonely, is it still a good idea to get better at being alone? At one point does your skill for loneliness become a self fulfilling prophecy?
The goal is not to be alone, but to get better at weathering the inevitable bouts of loneliness we will all face.